Have you ever noticed that sincere compliments are hard for people to give? I believe people mistakenly think that by handing out praise, they will somehow feel worse about themselves when actually, the opposite is true. This happened to me recently. I want to chat about my experience and making the decision to not listen to what the world says about your family and understand the truth about how to raise a really great child, instead.
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Here’s Your Change and Some Discouragement… Have a Nice Day!
Not long ago at a grocery store, the cashier was admiring my children. She gushed about their consideration of one another and their helpful spirit. Then she polished all her kind words off by saying, “too bad they’ll grow out of it!” She proceeded to tell me how their kindness was merely a phase and that they’d inevitably turn into awful people one day.
In the middle of the grocery store on a busy day was not the time to enter into a rant about how much time and effort I have put into training my children. Nor was it the time to tell her that I will train my children Godly behavior throughout their whole lives, or “Die Tryin!”
Not at my house.
Instead, I simply smile and say “Not At My House.” This single, four-word-phrase is my way of combating negativity and maintaining authority over the role God has given me in my family.
You have determined to be intentional with your child training and learn how to raise a really great child too, which means you need a negativity-squashing phrase also! Feel free to use mine, or come up with your own, just have one and be ready to use it. Because the fact that you care so deeply to train your children, means you’ll certainly receive discouragement from those who just don’t get it!
EVERYTHING IS… awful?
When you were pregnant you were told how awful labor would be, or that breastfeeding would be difficult, and that you’d get hemorrhoids. Oh, and don’t forget, you’ll get stretch marks and your teeth would decay. I was told all the same stuff.
Now that you have a small child, it’ll turn into “the terrible two’s” and sassy 3-year-olds, and just WAIT until you have a teenager!!!! Blah, blah, blah.
No. I Choose Differently
I refused to allow these rants to discourage me. So should you. None of that bad stuff happened in any of my pregnancies by the way, although I take no credit for that. Praise God for mercy and good genes! However, even if it had, did any of the negativity from the nay-sayers do me any good? Did any of that mess help to equip me for the journey of motherhood? Nope. Not a bit.
This is obvious, right?
Kids need training, yes. Sin nature is real. That’s sort of obvious, right? Sass, selfishness, attitude, laziness, self-centeredness exist, but it doesn’t HAVE to reside in your home! It just doesn’t! You don’t have to accept these things as the way of life.
What’s it worth?
You’ll never have more opportunity for simple and effective child training, than you do now, while your child is small. I’m so glad you understand the real impact you can have as a Mommy! You’re kinda serious about this whole mommy/wife/family thing. Bravo!
While no two families are alike, there is a universal truth to consider in your parenting:
When you focus on doing something really well, you’re going to get a better result than if you don’t.
How To Raise a Really Great Child!
- Some people (children) are naturally sweet-natured. Others need shaping. Still some, lots of shaping. ⬅️ Know this!
- Don’t want to read a bunch of parenting books? I get it, they’re pretty slow. That’s what I’m for. Find a source you trust, ask for tips or a recommendation for a SINGLE book that will help you deal with a particular problem.
- There is no luck in good behavior. It is taught. It doesn’t happen overnight.
- I set out to intentionally train my kids, great habits from the very beginning and they still need training, every. single. day.
- Don’t relent. Consistent good input = good output.
Think Twice Before Being the Cashier
- When talking to an expectant mommy, tell her she looks beautiful. That you’ll pray for a smooth pregnancy. That babies are wonderful.
- If you see an exasperated mommy out and about, find something kind to say about her or her child.
- To the mom who is letting her kid scream bloody murder in the middle of JC Penney because he can’t have his way, offer a “good job, keep on keepin’ on” smile and a wink… just be positive for goodness sake.
- And by all means, when you see a family that has it together, give those parents a pat on the back.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build up one another…”
Your Child Can Certainly Be Great!
Raising a happy child with good manners, a kind heart and who’s a joy to be around is possible! Determine not to accept negativity, understand how to raise a really great child, invest in your family, and be an encourager to other women. Speak out loud the good things that are in your mind. And whatever you do, don’t relent. Keep on keepin’ on, Mommy. Your child is going to be great!