What comes to mind when you hear the term “child training?” Words like obedience, sleep, potty, and manners are likely what you think of. Or you may even get a picture in your head of teaching a dog to sit. Good boy! No, No, No… Here’s the truth: Child training is one of the most powerful parenting tools you have in your belt. So, what is child training? Let’s talk about it.
If a child whines, regularly throw tantrums in public, wakes up in the middle of the night, won’t use the toilet, complains about food, or doesn’t listen, it’s because he’s been trained to do so.
What Is Child Training?
Consider your worst habit. For me, it was getting up in the morning. For the majority of my young adult life, I was always late. I would show up for work with wet hair and still putting my mascara on as I walked through the office door because I just could NOT get up out of bed!
And you know what? I remember CLEARLY as a kid, getting up late and not being able to find my SHOES! Consequently, I’d miss the school bus again and again!
Mornings were difficult for me, and since I wasn’t trained better habits on purpose, I carried my awful morning habits with me into my adult life. Fortunately, I’m better now… phew, sob story over.
Each and everything your child does regularly, he was trained to do. It’s important to understand to prevent accidental training.
Accidental training is when you aren’t being intentional to train a good habit, so a bad one is trained by default. Whining is a perfect example of this.
Who Is Child Training For?
When I got pregnant with my oldest child, I got really upset. Everywhere I went there was a flood of women ready to tell me how awful it was going to be. Pregnancy problems. Baby heartache. Horrible child tantrums.
Not because it wasn’t the way life was for them, but because I would not accept that it HAD to be the way life was going to be for me. And ya know what… it’s not, nor has it ever been, the way my life is.
Here’s the honest-to-goodness, real-deal, tell-it-straight truth: My Kids Are Great! They don’t whine. They don’t argue. We all put each other first. All the kids sleep all night long, in their own beds. I could go on, but…
You’re here, reading these words because you refuse to accept that your kids will be tyrants, the same way I refused to accept it. You are in the right place, Welcome! I’m so glad we found each other! Not everyone will understand your solidarity and resolve to raise great kids… but I do!
Let’s think for a minute about what we really want for our children.
- Would you like your child to be kind?
- Would you like your child to have a successful career? (2 Thes 3:10 If you don’t work, you don’t eat. Just sayin…)
- Do you want your child to feel fulfilled with his life?
- Would you like your child to be a leader and go after what he wants in life?
- Do you want him to consider other people’s feelings, needs, and desires?
- Would you like him to have a happy marriage that doesn’t become a statistic?
That’s kind of silly, I know… of course, you answered yes to all of these questions. Therefore, child training applies to you.
Kindness isn’t accidental. Success doesn’t come easy. Fulfillment will require your child to use his gifts and talents instead of struggling to master something he’s not any good at. Being a leader means training independence.
And certainly considering other people first can take years of practice, (this is down-right impossible for many adults!) As for marriage… well, let’s just be real. The more practice your child can get with that, the better!
Think about a time you were training for a job. Were you trained well? When your training was over did you feel confident you could do what was expected of you?
If not, then you know that it is the WORST feeling, to be expected to perform in a certain way and having NO freakin’ idea how to do it!
You end up fumbling around, having to figure it out on your own, the hard way, hate the process, the job, and the whole experience. And when it’s all said and done, you wasted a lot of time on a learning curve and you end up not being as good at the job as you could have been if someone would have just TRAINED you!
You get it, right?
Answering yes to the above questions for your child means training him well for the task at hand. The task of a great life.
Child Training IS:
- Obedience without attitude
- Your child’s best life
- Providing solutions instead of adding to the problem
- And much more…
Child Training is NOT:
- Only about chores
- Only about safety
- Forcing your child to be who you want her to be
Child training starts by making every great choice for your child, then strategically handing over the reigns slowly over time until he’s making great choices for himself.
It’s deciding the most important goals for your child’s whole life (BIG) – then choosing smaller goals that help him reach the big ones (MEDIUM,) then choosing and implementing actionable steps to accomplish each step (SMALL.)
Child training is, in a nutshell… Parenting With The End Game In Mind, which is your child’s best life. You must see the big picture, then work backward.
Decide what you want for your child, understand what child training really is, then take steps to give your child his best life. He can’t do it for himself. Without your training and guidance, he’ll be stuck with a bunch of bad habits, he’s trying to undo in adulthood.
You have mega amounts of influence and power to provide your child with all sorts of success and fulfillment. Don’t waste a precious moment!